Lots of things are happening in the next month or so, but we will have to make time for the few things we have left on our homestudy list. Our social worker will come to the house again and talk to us separately (she talked to us together last time). Then she'll take all our documents and write up a report. The report doesn't take long so I believe we'll be pregnant on paper by the end of June!
We've spent some time lately figure out what baby gear we will need and want. My biggest concern is getting a last minute placement. Our attorney has recently had several placements where the birthmom is in the hospital either in labor or just having given birth when she decides to place. The adoptive parents only get about a day's notice. I just want to make sure that any gear that needs lead time to be ordered is bought ahead of time. I have a feeling Grandma_B will be here ASAP after Baby_D comes home and we can get any extra gear then.
Recently I've read some articles on positive adoption language. I know Papa_D and I put a lot of thought into the words we use, but we're not sure what word we are going to use for our birthmom. So far we've been using birthmom but that's not appropriate until she's actually given birth and placed. Until then, she's mom. I'm leaning more towards first mom. It's not first in terms of primacy, but in terms of chronology. I don't feel any conflict with my kids having 2 moms. The more adults to love a child the better. I hope we are able to get to know her ahead of time and we'll discuss with her what she wants to be called. I've been thinking a lot about her lately. Wondering if our child's even been conceived yet. If she's ok. If she's feeling a lot of turmoil about being pregnant and wondering if she can take care of the baby. I sincerely hope she's able to take joy in feeling the baby move and seeing her belly grow. I'm starting to feel like she's the one that has to deal with the most pain in this whole situation. I hope we are able to have a relationship with her, or at the least be able to share what's going on in her child's life as he/she grows up. I want to always be able to give her reassurance that her child is taken care of and being loved. Even with the books I've had to read and the support groups I've been going to, I don't feel conflicted about sharing our child. It's really our child in the sense of her, Papa_D and me. I worry, like anyone in our situation, that we'll meet someone and she'll decide to parent after the baby is born. I'm not worried because someone will be taking 'my' child away, just because I know that will be painful. But as we've been told by the attorney and the agency, when you meet the right person, it clicks. I think when she meets us, she'll know that she wants us to be in her and her child's lives.
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