Meeting the woman that picked us

We'll be meeting her on Thursday. I'm nervous and excited!

Picked for a baby!

Yesterday morning I was waiting for the shuttle at the parking lot at work and kicking myself for forgetting to bring coffee for the coffeemaker yet again. I was trying to figure out how to convince Papa_D to go home, get the coffee and bring it to me ;). As I see the bus coming down the street, my cell phone started to ring. I didn't recognize the number and couldn't figure out if it was coming from CA or OH. I answered the phone and heard "Hi myname, this is so-and-so from our-attorney's office. We were able to send out your profile to the woman we talked to you about a couple of weeks ago and she looked at all the profiles we sent her and she pick picked you and Papa_D."

My response: A cross between "uh" and a squeek and a grunt. I saw the bus pulling up and couldn't figure out what exactly was happening.

I think I said "Wow."

Then the person on the phone gave me some instructions. I honestly couldn't remember much. She confirmed we were still interested (we were) and that we were willing to meet the young woman before the baby is born (absolutely, very important to us) and told me we may need to travel to where she is (about 150 miles from here). I told her we had no problem with going up there and our schedules were pretty flexible so most times would work for us. We said goodbye and I hung up and got on the bus.

Immediately I started trying to get hold of Papa_D who was in a meeting. I was shaking and trying my hardest to not cry. I had this immense thing, and it wasn't only mine. I got to my desk, put my lunch away and walked all over to find Papa_D. After a while I checked his calendar and discovered he would still be in a meeting for another hour. So I headed back to my desk and sat on my hands until Papa_D called and I told him to start walking and meet me. We met in between our buildings and I shared our good news. I think it's safe to say he was happy. At that point we were able to start sharing the news.

I called our attorney back and confirmed some details. We're waiting to hear when we will go up to meet with the young woman who has picked us. The attorney's office has shared some details with us that we'll share when it is appropriate. I'm still trying to figure out that part.

So many things can happen between now and late January. From what we understand she 'definitely' chose us. But she may have a change of heart about us, or about adoption in general. While I'm grateful to have 4 months to prepare logistically and emotionally, it's longer than I ever expected to have. She can't sign her consent until at least 72 hours after she gives birth and she can change her mind at any time. Despite any relationship we might build with her, none of this is a promise. Her needs, her child's needs and her family's needs trump our desires any day of the week. Adoption must always be this way.

For now we remain cautiously optimistic....

Input please

I'm in the process of arranging healthcare and daycare for kidlet. We're meeting with the pediatrician that we'll likely use because she was recommended by another adoptive mom. The big dilemma is daycare....

My work has a daycare center on site. Well, it's about 2.5 miles away from my building, but my workplace covers several square miles. Anyways, I got on the wait list about 6 months ago and was advised it often takes 12-18 months to get in. The benefits are that it is close to work so I can drop kidlet off right before I go in and get him/her right after, I can do payroll deduction for tuition, they offer some part-time spots, they have evening care available for an additional fee, the child staff ratio is better than the state requires.

Tomorrow we are going to look at a Montessori center that is closer to our house. I'm concerned about picking kidlet up late if I'm delayed at all but I think if Papa_D and I can tag-team it, we'll be ok. This is supposed to be a great center, the teachers have a ton of education, it has the highest possible rating from the state, etc. There is a waitlist. They said they only accept 8 new infants per year so get on the list as soon as you can. And the tuition is more than our mortgage.

I have a few other centers I can look at that might work for us. But the most likely third option is to find a home care provider.

Any advice?

Slogging along

We attended orientation for our agency on Thursday of last week. I found it to be really helpful in explaining the process we will go through and some generalities about adoption. For example, the age range of women who have placed infants with this agency is 12 to 45 years old, with most women being between 27 and 35 years old. This was new information for me. We were part of a group of about 30 people and additional people were turned away because this cohort had reached capacity. I'm looking forward to working with this agency. The director of the agency led the orientation and she seems very passionate about her work. We have another class in October and should be active after that.

In the meanwhile we need to finish up preparations for Kidlet. The room is almost cleared out with the exception of my sewing stuff. The sewing supplies will stay until Kidlet's quilt and blankets are finished, which will hopefully happen soon. We have been slowly accumulating supplies and gender neutral clothes from local thrift and secondhand stores. Today I scored a great deal on a bouncy chair that looks like new and cost me only half of what it cost on Amazon.com. Since all these things are gender neutral, hopefully they will outlast Kidlet and still be usable for Deuce (baby #2). I'm hoping we will make it to Ikea sometime in the next couple of weekends for the furniture, shelving, lighting and some toys. I also hope to have time to shampoo the carpets in the house and get in another weekend of camping after the insects die down. We've talked a bit about trying to go to New York for a weekend but I'm doubting that will happen. I'd like to get out to California as well. But I have a feeling that time is of the essence now!

Our attorney called the morning after we got back from our vacation to say they wanted to show our profile to a woman who is considering placing her baby. We are still waiting to hear back about this particular situation, as well as another one. This is one of the hardest parts - never hearing back about many of the situations. All we can hope is that the women found something better out there....

One final hurrah

Papa_D and I are heading off for a week of hedonism and debauchery before we have to become all responsible and stuff.

The agency orientation is a few days after we get back. For now I'm going to stretch this week out as long as I can!